It’s just my blogs - Annie YYF

The thing between human is really hard to explain. How come a person did the same mistake again and again is also hard to explain. Even worst willingly did the mistakes! That’s not all. The ultimate worst thing is did the same mistake again and again. Wouldn’t you be surprise??

I’m not! Why? I’m one of them. Yeah, you heard of me! I’m one of them. I don’t even know why. I came out and fall head over heel into it again. Came our and into it again. Again and again. What worst thing that ever happen. Still the bright side is it’s not the same person. I mean I’m not facing the same person. Having going in and coming out so many times, it makes me feel so tired and so fed up because the result end all the same no matter how many ‘round-about’ I turn in and out. No matter how is the beginning the ending will still is the same. I felt oh so stupid. Every time I’m making a fool out of myself. So stupid but so willingly. How could I? Yesterday I did one stupid thing again and in the afternoon I felt regret about it. Sen and Amanda said I am really d**n stupid and what the hell makes me repeat the same mistake again. I shouldn’t have at all bothered him but I talk to him first and at the end I got busted. So f***in stupid.

I asked Takimi is there any way I will not fall stupidly again and her reply is simple but meaningful “Ask yourself. Are you willingly let yourself got torture mentally again?” Who would want that? I never want to but I can’t help it. It’s really so stupid.

Recently I couldn’t sleep a lot. I woke up the same time around 6am no matter what time I laid down. I wonder if this is the sign of getting old. Haha . . . Hey, u can’t blame me for thinking this way because  . . . well, you know!

Then again, I didn’t hang out a lot like previous month. First, I don’t feel like I want to hang out very late already. Second, the scene is all the same. Third, there are always some people they’re giving me pressure. What’s on my mind is having drinks with couple of friends and chat the night away. Haha . .  . or maybe a movie date with someone. Those alcoholic drinks . . .  I prefer to have a sip during weekdays. Wed or maybe Fri. Somewhere like Sub*** is perfect enough because we won’t have a lot. A few bottle and a few hours . . . that’s all it takes to release the stress within. This week is school holidays. I wonder what he is doing and where is he now. Guess I would never know. I expect the connection is all lost there already. Good! I banged my head at the wall like always and got myself all bleed.

Don worry about me. I get used to it so much that I lost count and I keep repeating it. How stupid!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 21st, 2007 at 6:01 am and is filed under Me, Myself & I in 2007. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.