It’s just my blogs - Annie YYF

Im abt to headed to my bed when I decided to checkout d latest chicks & hunky around frenster. Came to spot a lad which really impressed me. I kinda knew someone who ‘related’ to her. I wont say who was dat cos that’s not the topic (well… it’s abt him actually).

Seems 2 me all three of them attached pretty close to each other. They r siblings and very, very much care of each other. Jz like d three of them and there they r. One of them r away from d other two bt they still keep close communication. I kinda admire how they keep it up. I don know wat happen 2 d family bt it doesnt matter.

I wonder how come it dont happen 2 me. I jz had 2 let go. 1st, i do think jz don think & do more works on anything as long as not abt him. Still, that’s not it. I lost my sense in some way. Short 2 it, I cant let f***in go. I mean it’s not d**n easy. D last time I ‘had to’ let go was abt 10 yrs ago and Im forced 2. It took more than half a s**t yr 2 finally attached again.

Know wat I do? I did all d household works TWICE daily! Still got plenty of time then I sat alone in d balcony & think of him. Think of our times together & how I wish I knew wat happen that divided us up. I never knew till now.

4 dis recent very short relationship, I also never knew wat happen but all I can feel is suffocated & I need 2 breath again. I chosen 2 breath & resulted I had 2 loosen him up. Hard to explain anymore.

This is human. No one will ever understand and will ever satisfied. D**n un-explainable. So s**t sleepy now. Good fcuk & DG nite.

This week … mark the 3rd trip out from Sdk. Last two were in Twu and Kul. This time somewhere nearer in Sbh. haha…. wait till i post those pics of me and my dear frens next week when im bc.

Workload still the same. Which I mean Im tryin all my might to keep up with it. Guess by now I am very much aware of the procedures and time concious that needed in this job. Unlike the others, I had to always look at the time almost an hour each time. Haha…. chasing d time I mean.

Im glad that I didnt bc off from this job. well, that was once in my mind after I posted in my resignation letter last time. I told myself there is no escape anymore and I cant go bc cos too much had been done liao. So, why not bump ur head and give it a try. Who knows I might made it. Hopefully!!

I met my Takimi b4 I came bc 2 Sdk. She is now happily attached. I wont say much bt Im really happy for her. Nothing knowin very well abt her past bt Im paying much attention on her future which count from now.

Adel settled down and Mag cling liao. All left now is myself. Oh ya…. congratulation to Rid. Whom engaged early of this month. That was so surprising bt we all knew he got someone from d beginning. Now been half way to settlement, he can all rest assured that the happy time will definitely come. Way to go, man!

Myself? Nah! Attached, settle down or cling are all ….. not on my mind. What matter most now is work and my prosperity. After d break up, I should say I am still not sure if I can attached to that someone. I had this kind of trauma that …. all d guys are d same. I knew it’s nt true bt I cant help myself thinking that way when Im anyway near to a relationship. That bc me off.

So, why bother??? Let’s work. Im sure I had alot to catch up too and frens!!! Cant left them out. They are part of source of survival. For those of you that had yet to follow my previous chapters, you will not understand until you flip thro all my previous chapters. Then, you’ll un.

Gtg. Very late liao. Need to rest. Hehe… countin down 1 day to d trip beginning. Wonder if my planned will ever work. heheh… gd nite.

Jz got bc from a trip 2 Kul. It’s actually a trip under my co. Guess wat.. v r havin Amazing-Race lookalike games. Running around KL Sentral, Mid Valley, Sungai Wang & KLCC. If u look real close & happen 2 b there on 08/09/07, then u might spot me & 3 of my team mems (Hally, Emellya & Mabel) running around gettin out Qs solve. haha…. my first experience and I pretty very much like it even I kind of suffocated cos I ran alot.

V ended d race as d 5th team and surprising was announce as d champion during dinner in Chinoz, KLCC.

Later after d dinner, Hally & I get ourselves into d just launched U-squeeze by Osim. I kind of feel got tickle sittin there. I laughed!

I would very much like to explain everything bt Im really tired. Even now while Im writing it here. So, pls view those pics that I had upload.

Good nite everyone.

U never knew how wonderful is ur life until u really feel & realized dat u r blessed.

That’s wat I am feeling now. 1st of all in dis yr, I jz broke off a 9 yrs r/ship. Then, I ‘crawled’ in & out from d ‘grave’ 4 2 horrible months. Unbearable! 3rd, I came bc clubbin non-stop 4 another 2 ‘un-concious’ months (however… something good, something sweet & something surprising during this 2 months. I give it an 8.) So, here I am now… Workacholic!!!! I start this job wit a ZERO. Anyway, thx 2 everything in dis 4 months, I knew I don think like I used 2 b already. I learned 2 say NO 2 most of d things including my desires. I won say I know exactly how 2 re-act in times 2 come bt I knew I am analyzing every little details. Dat shd help alot already.

Also, I would nt pass those time if without my family & friends. Haha…. Felt kinda shame havin 2 say this. Everyone is concious when they gave advice bt  when it comes 2 they r d victim,… sense r lost! Suddenly impossible decision r made easily. Seems like too easy 2 ever said… I always wonder why bt ‘emotional always over-power rational’. Huh… anyone wanna challenge this phrase here?? Guess u never knew until u r in.

Yesterday while I was on my home from Tawau, there was an accident along d long way from tawau 2 L/Datu. Jz 1 car. Toyota Hilux (double cab), grey color. I didnt catched d plate number bt d front car was all kemek into d drive and front passenger seats. Crashed up d small kelapa sawit hill. Sorry, mind my language… When out car passes by, i didnt dare 2 c if there is anyone trapped inside. I am over-imaginative type. So, better don look at it. Then all of a sudden, I thought of him. Could dat be him? With his dad? Nah! Bt… wat if it’s him there? I cant resist 2 take out my hp n sent him a sms. I didnt call. Don know why. I asked where he was bt in return he asked who am I. After I replied, he said he was in mile 4. Thank god. It’s not him.

I wonder how many of u ever did d same stupid things like I am. I mean, I don hv 2 do this. I can just simply ignored everything. Still, whenever something happen, I was afraid it was him. I cant stop thinking & then send him an sms asking where he was. If he replied, Im relieved bt if he don! I am gettin more and more worried. U get what I mean??? We broke off and it’s only a month relationship bt I treat it like we were already into a few yrs and I cant let go. What d hell…. D*** me!

Tell me… How many of u ever done or been in this situation like mine and did stupid things. Share ur experiences. . .  We may jz gain something here…. Post me ur comment here….